Monster Bugs

When I was a gagagoo, I remember running into the living room and telling my Dad that there was a dead bug behind the door of my bedroom. He asked me, "What did it look like?" with his Colombian accent, and I got on all fours with my back toward the floor. I was teased about that the rest of my life. (By the way, to anyone who didn't get to meet my Dad, you would have loved him.)

Here goes the real bug story: John and Deb recently finished their basement and did a great job. The room grew into a bar with lots of ambience, a movie room, an office, a walkout basement, and a half bath. They were so sweet, or such sweet liars, that they said they bought an extra movie chair for their husbandless sister (Deb's more of a sister than John is a brother-just kidding Johnny:) just in case I ever went over to watch movies with them. Ain't that sweet? Anyway, it happened, I went over and watched a movie. Yes, we have no life, and the movie took so much longer to watch than 2 hours because not only are we all blind, we're deaf and had to rewind every single section, which was preceeded with a "What did he say?" Then we'd all take a stab at guessing. The rewinding was inevitable. Anyone wanna join our Senior Citizen Club? You must eat an abundance of popcorn, drink close enough mixed drinks, watch movies at levels of volume reaching the Andes, and be willing to relinquish 5 hours for each flick oh, and order a cheese pizza at 11 PM. After the million hour movie, we were cleaning up our mess, when I noticed what I thougth to be a Halloween decoration; Deb is so into Halloween. I pointed toward the baseboard and said, "Oh wow, look at that!" John and Deb looked where I was pointing and said, "Oh my God!" It was the size of the Taratulas we saw in Uruguay. It's amazing how much bugs grow in retrospect. Segue... When we were fishing at a dam in Uruguay, a guy came by with a broomstick that had a 5" pointy nail sticking out of the end of it, and proceeded to stab all of the tarantulas crawling around. He'd stab them right through the middle of their boddies, one after another, and shish-kabobbed (sp?) about 5 of them. It was so creepy because their legs kept trying to run away even though they were stuck on the nail. Eeeww! Back to the story... The most heebeegeebee part of all is that the monster (because spiders that size don't fall under the category of spider in my book) crawled in through the window where John was sitting for the five hour movie. What if it had gotten on his shoulder?!#$&* I took a photo with my phone. Keep in mind that the baseboard is about 8" wide. I tried to get them to catch it so we could find out what kind of monster it was, but Johnny decided to kill it. It took him a half a century to get up the nerve to smash it with his sneaker.